finding that purpose.

one of my friend told me not too long ago that she found blogging.. strange.. contradictary.. why write personal feelings down for the world to see she said. 

Then there's the personal blog.. where one write for their own eyes only.. but i can never quite get myself to do that.. becos i feel thats like keeping a diary... and i find it.... well, perhaps girly? in any case if i really HAVE to write a personal diary i'll much prefer the traditional hardcopy, solid leather dairy thing over a blog.

so you might ask, whats the bloody point i'm trying to get to? You see, things have been running in my head for days now.. the cny period has slowed my life down to the right motion - after weeks after weeks of beating (which i have now resumed to) - During the short two days, i had plenty of time to think.. and i realised (as for those who have me on ur facebook) that i am not happy with my current life at all.. but of all things.. i'm most dissapointed at myself.. for many reasons.. which i cannot say.. 

do u see where i'm getting to now? i feel like shouting out. yet i cant.. because if i do.. everyone will know my story and the little mystery will be lost.. and if i do share my story.. people might get hurt if they ever read it and i know they do, which makes it even more scary

will it really help to write ur thoughts down to urself? if u're a keeper of a diary.. pls enlighten me... and then maybe, maybe i'll visit a old book shop to get myself a leather crusted diary..