February 1, 2011


How do you make the most out of what you're given when all you're given is nothing but a bag full of shit?


No but really.


Do you know how it feels for a pretty bird to want to flock its feathers and fly but suffers from a bad or broken wing?

How a dolphin wishes to cut the waves and join his parade of friends but cannot because of an unfortunate injury?

How is it like, of having possibly all but suddenly none?

It’s not easy to comprehend. Not until I was recently put in that challenged position.

When I was posted out of BMT to be Recce Trooper, I was motivated; despite complains on the surface - I told plenty how difficult life as a Recce would be and how unlucky I was to be chosen as one. Yet, secretly inside I was actually very much looking forward to my new unit life, to be able to aim and achieve something, to don the coveted jungle hat as a qualified Recce Trooper was something everyone would to be proud of, plus a month off to learn to ride a bike (and fully paid for!) are some of the privileges a Recce Trooper gets. I was skeptical but I kept my feelings reserved, because I knew there was something to look forward to..

But now whatever motivation I once had,

Vanished. All in an instant.

Just an hour at the hospital and seemingly all the effort and heart I’ve put in the first couple of weeks in my unit seems to have all gone to waste.

The doctor told me I had a lower back problem, although the condition is mild and in the initial stages, it potentially will continue to become bad if I continued to abuse my back.. I was recommended to not take any more heavy load (something that's very much a part of a Recce Trooper's life) and down my pes status which would also means I will be out of my course.

Devastation checked, reality two.

I will now no longer don that jungle hat, I will not get to get to learn how to ride a bike - something I always wanted and looked forward to.. I will also no longer get a month off and spend time with my loved ones..

But was I to do?? When I forced to make a decision, I simply couldn't betray my body. I had to be honest. Nation Service is after all, just a service. I have a life ahead of me.. and I'm not about to give my back for a hat, some freedom or imposed glory.

So from next week, I would no longer be part of the main body of combat fit Recce Troopers. My life will change dramatically. It will be tough not in training but one of the mind. And I urgently need to find a new motivation, a drive, not even a goal, just some meaning, something that gives purpose to what I'll be doing. I've lost, but I haven't lose. I'm demoralised but I’m not sad. And that's how it'll be.

National service is something I've to put through no matter what and the earlier I accept the truth, the better. Change is a constant in everyone's life. Every difficult scenario faced is an opportunity to grow wiser and to become stronger for the next time you're put in the same star-crossed situation. Even circumstances that seem most devastating carry within them the seed of a new blessing. I must believe in that. And I must believe no matter what I do, there is something to learn from, however droning the task is.

That is my plan, and that's exactly how I intend to live by my next 500 odd days in service..

*with a reassuring grin*


Ummhmph.









The Secret.

Facebook Tumblr


The Need.

Graduate with a smile
The nice soft hair I once had
Prosumer Camera (maybe)
A good inspiration
A long vacation
A Car, a Bike and a Puppy
Everlasting love?
Whatever else that makes me happy



My Escapes.

Aaron Ng Aloysius Ong Christine Christopher Chia Cynthia Neo Elyza Jace Wong Johan Luke Chen Pamela How Priscilla Tan Regina Hoh Sheila Loh Sin Yean Sofya Wei Wen Yong Ann Yeng Ling Yimei Zheng Xin



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