finding that purpose.

one of my friend told me not too long ago that she found blogging.. strange.. contradictary.. why write personal feelings down for the world to see she said. 

Then there's the personal blog.. where one write for their own eyes only.. but i can never quite get myself to do that.. becos i feel thats like keeping a diary... and i find it.... well, perhaps girly? in any case if i really HAVE to write a personal diary i'll much prefer the traditional hardcopy, solid leather dairy thing over a blog.

so you might ask, whats the bloody point i'm trying to get to? You see, things have been running in my head for days now.. the cny period has slowed my life down to the right motion - after weeks after weeks of beating (which i have now resumed to) - During the short two days, i had plenty of time to think.. and i realised (as for those who have me on ur facebook) that i am not happy with my current life at all.. but of all things.. i'm most dissapointed at myself.. for many reasons.. which i cannot say.. 

do u see where i'm getting to now? i feel like shouting out. yet i cant.. because if i do.. everyone will know my story and the little mystery will be lost.. and if i do share my story.. people might get hurt if they ever read it and i know they do, which makes it even more scary

will it really help to write ur thoughts down to urself? if u're a keeper of a diary.. pls enlighten me... and then maybe, maybe i'll visit a old book shop to get myself a leather crusted diary..

my worst new year yet.

4 projects. none completed.

3 presentations. none ready.

2 test. none prepared.

1 week. to complete them all.

what chinese new year?

just watched the movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona as a break for my extremely long and tiresome weekend spent on projects. The movie is about love triangle or rather love rectangle. And how one may realise she might just be bisexual (lol yea. i know) and how much so the Americans are open to it as well as how forgiving friends are (bet u must feel like watching this movie now).

most of all however, what i got out of this firm was that things in life isn't always about what you wanted but what you love. In the movie it was portrait as how Vicky's betrothed is all about what she always hankered for.. what she always wanted.. a husband with a bright future and a pleasant but predictable life but she realised after a one night love affair with a Spaniard that she was about to make the gravest mistake of her life. 

I saw an angel in the train today| 
She had the smoothest of skin | 
& a complexion so perfect like I dreamed her into life | 
The journey to school never felt this short | 
yet I lay breathless as she sat across me | 
As far as i could remember | 
It was a pain and joy | 

what resolution?

too troublesome..

& u know u'll never achieve it so why bother!

but then everyone is telling me too.

so all rightttt. here's two,

1. for the year 2009 i promise to be a good boy

1. for the year 2009 i promise to try my best to 'un-lazy' myself

-no more mr LAZY.
-no more starving at home because i'm LAZY to head out and get myself lunch or dinner
-no more staring at the big blue sky and laze around because i'm too LAZY to do anything else


2. for the year 2009 I shall learn to relax, take things slowly and to appreciate life's simple pleasures. Time to feel the breeze and watch leaves falling babeh!

-I shall no longer curse and swear about long waits for buses and trains
-I shall not abuse Iris (if u do not already know what it is)
-I shall rid the mindset that if i'm going out, i'll have to settle everything i want to do all at once and learn to make it two trips instead

HO.

these sounds like an awful lot to me
they smell like big change.
so perhaps ..
perhaps i'll jus stick to the old me


I guess we'll see as 2010 comes and 2009 draws to an end.
For now let me worry about my resolutions and you with whether my blog will even survive till then :/

not really in a bloggin mood now.

cos i'm pissed.

but i'll blog anyhow.

new year was boring. i spent my last few hours of 2008 studying for my customer relationship management test i had today, yep, studying. unbelievable huh. i was suppose to be in chilling at DXO or over at marina square looking at the firework display.

that really sucked. but what suck more is that i still managed to screw up the test. ARGHZ! if i knew i was going to do this badly i wouldn't even bother studying in the first place. zz

in fact the first mistake i made for the test was made before my first answer.

It was made on the very first line.

i wrote 2-1-08.

yep.

i only remembered after i submitted the paper

-

ok enough of my blahs.

Happy New Year fellos.

may your 2009 not be as boring as my 2008!